Love. It’s a weird thing.
I’ve spent my tiny life, from a small girl up until a few years ago, looking for it.
My quest was more important than any career or hobby ever was.
I can remember all the days as a teenage girl spent endlessly watching rom-coms like Bridget Jones’ Diary, Notting Hill, How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days and 500 Days of Summer, listening to bands like The Smiths, Coldplay and The Beatles – just waiting in the hopes that I’d find a guy who would ‘complete’ me. A guy who’d turn round to me at a house party, say he likes the same thing too then run off into the sunset. Or something like that.
I’ve cycled endless roads looking for what I thought was the then love of my life with just a faint glimmer of hope that he may see me cycle past and come out to play that day.
I’ve started listening to bands I hated, only to find out I probably love them more than I loved the person I had liked them for – well, actually, there’s no probably about it. I still listen to them now.
I’ve gone on strings of dates that have left me with nothing but happy memories, and that warm fuzzy feeling you get when you know you’re on to something special. Mainly walking around London until sunset, or drinking on the Southbank putting the world to rights.
And then I found it – in the strangest of places. None other than a run down cinema in Crawley.
Of all places in the world.
It’s a weird thing.
It feels like the journey that I’ve been on for years of my life has now ended and you have that contemplative moment of, ‘well… what do I do next?’, ‘are you sure you’ve definitely made up your mind?’ and ‘where does this go?’.
The answer is that it doesn’t necessarily go anywhere, it simply grows.
The nearer it gets to me marrying the guy I happened to fall in love with, the more I see our relationship, our bond grow. There’s more talk of the future, of how much you love them and ultimately how happy you are. In fact, you become really smug bastards. The kind you’ve always hated as a couple. Yeah, those ones.
But, really, it’s the best feeling in the world. You want to shout it from the rooftops. You want to cry at random points during the day cause you’re just so damn happy. And most of all, you want it never to end.
I thought I’d been on this quest that had an end date. It didn’t – this was just the beginning.
“Honey, you’re a rock upon which I stand. Honey, you are the sea upon which I float. Honey, I could never go on with you. You’re the one I wanted to find.” Green Eyes, Coldplay