As you may or may not have known from reading one too many posts on here and one too many social updates, I recently got married.
Just over a month ago, Joe and I headed over to the beautiful country of Iceland and got hitched under one of the most spectacular waterfalls in the world. It was easily the best day of my life and rest assured, there will be posts to come but probably more from our actual honeymoon adventuring around the island!
But what I really wanted to do in this post is put aside anyone’s fears that getting married changes much of anything at all. After being married now for a little bit of time, it felt important to write down my thoughts, in the hope that it’ll stop someone like me worrying before they get married.
Now, before the ‘Big Day’, I was having a number of people that I see on a regular basis wish me well (which I love you all for) and even more people and the media try to scare me about becoming a ‘wife’ and committing to a marriage in general. It seems in today’s world, becoming a wife has more negative connotations than it actually does positive. It seems to be perceived now as you making a transition into becoming ‘boring’ with not an ounce of youth left in you and ultimately, bringing about your own personality’s demise.
The other point both parties made is that your relationship with your other half will change in some miraculous way after saying your vows – that it will either take away all of your troubles and it’ll be plain sailing for years to come or you’ll both crash and burn. You only fit into one of these two groups (apparently). This is largely what the media will have you believe with endless articles (which you find yourself reading) that detail ‘How to Have a Happy Marriage’ and ‘Why Your Marriage Won’t Last’.
Out of the whole situation, these were the only two things that had me a little nervous.
I worried about my life and relationship changing, despite it being pretty perfect for the past 4 years. I didn’t want us to crumble like a well-baked cookie but nor did I want that endless happiness that makes you both a little less palatable to others. Going back to my earlier point, I also didn’t want to become a soul-less wife that has given up on all her dreams, you know, like something out of a Victorian novel.
But I’m here to tell you that the pressure that people and the media put on you before you get married is absolute rubbish because in actual fact, none of the above happens. SPOILERS! You carry on being your happy, little selves – albeit in a post-wedding bubble (yes, with rainbows and smiles), but life inevitably moves on. And this isn’t meant to sound negative, believe it or not, it’s meant to be a comfort because if your relationship was good beforehand, and you had not a care in the world when you said ‘yes’, then why would that change?
The one thing I can say, from my experience, is that your role together changes a little. Becoming Mrs Whitfield, has made me feel like Joe and I can take on the world like a superhero duo. It’s made me feel supported in a way that I didn’t know existed – see, positive. Also, I’ve yet to become that ‘shrinking violet’ of a wife, I’m never going to give up on my dreams – so, goodbye stereotype! I’d say life is pretty good about now and yours will be too.
If you have any pre-wedding jitters or you just want to talk weddings from someone who has just been there, then feel free to e-mail or tweet me. I’m happy to help!
(And don’t worry, I won’t be starting a Wedding blog anytime soon or writing any more wedding posts, bar one – the Big Day!)