Today was a picture perfect kind of a day, 18 degrees, sun shining, people minus their coats and a definite sense of Summer in the air. This morning I was in the best of moods, I had woken up next to Green Ranger and we cuddled till we absolutely had to wake up.
Two days ago I got a call about an MRI that I am due to have tomorrow morning and I couldn’t be more worried.
Define MRI; Short for magnetic resonance imaging. The use of nuclear magnetic resonance to produce images of the molecules that make up a substance, especially the soft tissues of the human body. Magnetic resonance imaging is used in medicine to diagnose disorders of body structures that do not show up well on x-rays.
Basically, at the moment, I have a head problem. They don’t particularly know very much what it is – just that it causes me acute pain. So from day to day I go through a multitude of things from fitting to blindness, from feeling like I’m being stabbed in the head to a jarring neck, from face twitching to red hot prickly sensations. It isn’t pretty whilst all the time feeling dazed, forgetful and nauseated. Despite this, I try hard to remain positive.
The NHS haven’t been so great. I got an appointment after months of trying to convince the NHS I had a problem and being wrongly described Co-codamol in the hope it’d vanish. I got sent to UCL Neurology Specialist Hospital in London for a consultation; he told me my left side is weaker, there is something behind my left eye and I will suffer with this for the forseeable future but that he wanted to prescribe me some drugs. So, I got prescribed with a) a drug that is mean to help the pain, b) beta blockers and c) anti-depressants. He also booked the aforementioned MRI.
It took weeks to get the tablets, when I did I got told the beta blockers would have reacted with my asthma and killed me, I refused to take anti-depressants and the last tablets are ones that previously paralysed me, except these new ones are more acute. Joy.
So, I’m in limbo. It’s put me off and stopped me from my final year at university, so everything is being deferred till Summer and is causing me endless stress. Secretly, it’s making me sad. Very sad and scared but I hate whining and I feel a positive stance can only help me.
Anyway, I am still trying to be in that good mood I started out with; I had a fun lecture today, discussed the lack of male imaginative writing in sexual literature and met up with a friend who I haven’t seen in a while who just makes me fall in love with his academic spiel and he doesn’t even realise. I met my oldest friend and her adorable child for a play in the park as the sun went down and am currently on GR’s sofa typing this. Things could be a lot worse.
In other good news, I got a transfer for later in the year for Caffe Nero. So, I can at least move out in April/May. Exciting…
I’ve also found amongst all this thinking the Peach Fruit Booster in Costa… buy one. You won’t regret this little cup of joy. Oh, and the above picture was my ‘winning’ breakfast on Saturday morning… Tea and Toast with Fluff and Peanut Butter. Nom.