So, and for my second trick – lots. I seem to collect lots I want to write about but never get round to writing them down. I think you have to be in a kind of mood to write a blog. Where you wanna talk to no-one but someone at the same time.
I saw a brilliant .gif on tumblr the other day, yeah, I still read it. I’m a little addicted to other people’s oddities and funnies they post on there, also, the fashion pictures. I guess that’s why I still buy Glamour, even though I wouldn’t know fashion if it slapped me in the face. A bit like that Monty Python ‘fish’ sketch. It was basically Gandalf, in one of my favourite films of all time – Lord of the Rings – saying ‘You shall not pass.’ Those immortal words. It got me thinking about university and basically, this is how I feel at the moment. I have got to such a point with it – with the head pains, the lack of interest and the want to do other things – that I am considering giving in. I just have no lust for the subject anymore nor the studying. I want to be a worker bee, have my sweet little flat, car and beau. I have a months extension on my dissertation, even though UCL would love me to defer a whole nother year for the fees I guess and Goldsmiths have given me till August. All the time being told you’l never make it… self doubt much? It sucks. The only reason I haven’t given up is because of people’s judgemental nature and how it would look on my CV. To be a quitter – not clever really.
Amongst my general dossing nature and doing fuck all, I went to the cinema (this may come up a lot, I love film and have a monthly pass for Cineworld. I see a lot.) and saw an indie film called ‘Like Crazy’. You’l soon realise I love rom coms or anything vaguelly tragic in this way, even if there is no happy end. I am obsessed by relationships and the ideas behind them. So, Like Crazy wasn’t a bad film for me.
In a nutshell – they meet at university – she is from England. She has to go back, she breaks her visa and stays a bit longer, this means she voids her visa and can’t return to be with the guy who ‘makes her feel like no-one else can.’ They struggle – shag about, argue, move on and then decide, sod it, ‘we’l get married’. So they do, then that breaks down, they rinse and repeat. In the end, they come back together and it ends with a shower scene where they no longer know one another.
Heartbreaking but I guess, the reality of long distance love. Not that I would know, to me Crawley – Hurst Green is long enough (33 miles). It did highlight how one person can make your world go round though and losing that person, the one special one, is one of the saddest events to happen in a persons life. It was acted painfully well, feeling every frustration they felt along the way as they dealt with the distance and futility of it all. It reminded me of a song by Jack Penate though, called ‘My Yvonne’ – this song should be adored but it goes like this;
‘Through the years we lost each other’s souls’
Does this always happen? You read about so many couples whether that be childhood sweethearts or even older married couples with three kids who just lose their love for one another. How is it that someone loses love? I have done and still, do not understand how it happens. My only conclusion – that you both change or you were not right together in the first place, it just took a bit longer than usual and you stuck it out a bit longer? I believe it’s one of the saddest facts of life. However, this film also gave me a brilliant new song to listen to by Stars called ‘Dead Hearts’.
Give it a listen, seriously, it is one of those tragic indie rom-com type of songs, be warned but it doesn’t stop it being as influential as the film. For me, songs have a way of doing that.