I have been reading a book, I thought it sounded interesting, it’s from my local library. It’s called The Perks of being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky. I was reading and came to a sentence I found extremely poignant and made me quite inquisitive.
‘Charlie, we accept the love we think we deserve.’
Is this true that each of us determine how much love we receive? or is it others that determine how much love they are willing to exert on us? And come to think of it, how do we even measure love? Can we?
I don’t know if it possible to measure love, I don’t think it possible in my opinion… it is not something that needs to be measured, rather it is something that needs to be valued. Love could be seen as valued differently from different people and valued based upon who we give it to. I would imagine perhaps love for a partner or a best friend is valued higher than those of a friend who you don’t see so often and have not much of a close bond with? From personal experience, I know that would be the case for me. Family – isn’t that even a different type of love… then how do we quantify that? Surely it is immeasurable compared to a partner or a friend depending on the relationships you hold dearest?
Thinking on it, I guess it is possible to accept the love we think we deserve, if we don’t feel like we are worth that love, if we feel like we are undesirable or incapable of that love then it is inevitably rejected. Maybe it is us who has to open up to love in the first place to even be loved? I know I have been a position, in a relationship, where I felt like nothing – like I didn’t matter therefore, I was unwilling to accept the love of my partner and rejected it – I had to overcome this and accept the love I was given eventually otherwise the relationship would have fallen apart.
So, I guess Love is a too way issue – those who give it and those who accept it, if one doesn’t give it than one can’t accept it then if one won’t accept it, the other gets tired of giving it? It needs to be equal in any relationship for one to work.